Monday, December 8, 2008

Get Back With My Ex

It not common for most of us to find that it is hard to resolve or let go of our feelings during a divorce or breakup. We tend to become angry and feel like we can lose control at any moment. It can be a little consoling to know that there are hundreds of people who feel the same way.

There are times we start to have our doubt. We start asking ourselves if the divorce or breakup was avoidable. There are also times we start to wonder and consider the idea of getting our ex lover/spouse back. In fact, you are not alone. The thought of getting back together with your ex can sometimes be so overwhelming that you start to believe that is the best next course of action.

I am not discouraging you for taking that road. However, I need you to ask yourself the following very important questions before you decide if to get back together with your ex is your ultimate goal.

Firstly, you need to ask yourself sincerely if you still do have intense feelings for your ex. If you do, then the next thing you need to know is the effort you are going to put in into getting your ex back is worth it on your part.

The above questions will determine if your ex is worth pursuing or it is best for you to let go. You need to understand your inner feelings, is your heart filled with anger, hurt and/or resentment over the breakup? If your answer is yes, then I will advise you that the time is not right for you to reconnect with your ex. I did not say that you should not get back together with your ex or even try but, if you are an angry, hurtful and you are filled with so much resentment, it is best to give it time before you even proceed with getting back together.

Not all relationship end on good terms. In fact, based on human nature, most relationship end on very bad terms. Both you and are ex, if you separate on bad terms, will most probably be harboring and sharing feelings of resentment and hatred. In such situation, it is best to take some time to get over the break-up. Get some inner peace. Heal your inner self. Never rush into getting back with your ex especially if you have old negative baggage and feelings from your past life and relationship.

Unless you learn to start afresh, you can never get yourself to have the initial feelings towards your ex as when you first met him or her. Never feel pressured or rush things. In this circumstance, it is best to act using your head rather than follow the heart.

Once you are clear on the above, you have to find out if your ex present situation allow you to have a reconciliation. In order to make the relationship work this time around, you need to a new set of rules that is acceptable to both of you. You need to find out and understand each others core vulnerabilities and learn how to manage them. By doing so, you and your ex will have a new perspective on your relationship, a dual perspective. This is important because it will lead towards a relationship that is compassionate and love beyond words. In simple words, this time around the relationship has and need to be different from the previous ones.. Identify the problems that cause the break-up and work towards making it work this time, both of you will definitely be able to do it this time around because you both want it.

You have honestly answered the two questions and identified that to Get Back With Your Ex is your goal. Now, learn more about tactics and the do's and don'ts of restoring your past relationship and making it work this time around by going to http://www.how-to-get-yr-ex-back.blogspot.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Victoria_Ramirez

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